at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it because I queefed?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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