He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
