I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
