I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
