problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
