Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
