Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
