i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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