dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
