hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
