Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
