Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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