i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
