They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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