at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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