Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize