are you still at the devil's house?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
