My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
