Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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