i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize