I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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