Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
