It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
