Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
