Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
