so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
