How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
3pm strippers are depressing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
