STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
