Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
