got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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