There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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