During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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