I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
