Do you still have your period?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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