K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she peed on how many people?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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