There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
