Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
