I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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