Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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