Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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