don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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