ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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