jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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