You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize