I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
