My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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