Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
