Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
