you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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