Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
