we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
