Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize