I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just want to make out with him forever
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
