i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
