Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize