I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
