I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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