so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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